Fall

I can't believe September is already here! I LOVE fall in Utah! Its so pretty and the weather is nice through Halloween... then it starts to get too cold for my blood.

Yesterday at church we had a heck of a time keeping Ava entertained for 3 hours... I am SOO ready for her to go to nursery, but sooo not ready to leave her there! We decided we would take her next Sunday and I'd stay with her. I'm sure she will do great, she's been to nursery a couple of times when we've been traveling.

I am excited for her to get a chance every week to play with other little kids her age and I hope I can finally figure out who in the ward has kids her age so we can start playing with them during the week. Especially when it gets snowy I won't feel like going out as much so it would be nice to have little kids in the neighborhood for her to play with.

I started some new medications this week to help me in my struggle with PCOS and hopefully on our way to having another baby! We've been doing weight watchers together for a month now! I've lost 7 pounds this month and Dan has lost 11. I'm happy with it, its not fast but its something!

Getting help

Yesterday the pain from my throat was too much to handle. I finally remembered the name of the doctor I saw (that I liked) 4 years ago when I had mono. She got me in and told me I had strep and ear infections. I'm now on antibiotics and hoping that the pain goes away ASAP!

I happened to ask her if she had any suggested about an OBGYN in the area that had experience working with women with PCOS. Turns out she herself is a specialist in the area, I had no idea! I almost started crying I was so excited. One of my biggest hurdles of starting down this path was to actually speak to a doctor about it since the last times I have done so it hasn't been received well.

This was the opposite case with this doctor. She is very supportive and encouraging! She was also understanding of why its been so hard for me to lose weight, it goes along with the PCOS and Insulin Resistance. She has started me on Metformin (which I'm going to start next week once i'm feeling better) and we are hoping that starts to help me lose some weight, use insulin better and to get my body back to "normal"

She also made a point to tell me what a miracle it was that we were able to get pregnant with Ava and have a healthy pregnancy. I'm so thankful for Ava and I know now what a miracle she is. There is a reason she is here with us and that she came when she did.

Sunday Update

Well, Ava's 1st birthday has come and gone (still can't believe it)! We had such a fun week! Took her to the doctor, she is 26 pounds and 32 inches tall! SO big!

This week she showed us that she can show us where our noses are! Not sure who taught her this, but its so cute!

I'm back on track with Weight Watchers starting tomorrow. Unfortunately I staled after the first week and haven't lost any weight since week 1. So back on track and back moving towards my goal.

Ava's not getting tubes till April now instead of this Tuesday. Her lung infection isn't gone yet so they want to wait till it clears up.

The number 6

First 6 stands for the number of pounds I lost my first week back on Weight Watchers! WOO HOO! Thats a very good number for me!!

Second 6 stands for the number of ear infections Ava has currently gone to the doctor for since September. We talked and the doctor thinks she's had more but we didn't realize it. Its REALLY hard for us to tell when Ava has an ear infection because she is in such a good mood all the time. However the doctor is worried about the infections affecting her speech development and hearing. So we go see an ear nose and throat doctor next Friday to talk about tubes. I'll be happy when they are over and Ava stops having to suffer through these ear infections and rounds and rounds of antibiotics.

Sunday Update

Quick update! Ava says "wow" now. SO cute! I can hardly stand it! She also plays patty cake and her favorite part is the "throw it in the air"... she always throws her arms up during "mark it with a B" :) Its so cute!

I'm on day 4 today of Weight Watchers (well we, Dan's doing it too!) I feel great, the first few days are the hardest to get started, then after 3-4 weeks, it becomes totally second nature to count points and eat healthy. I'm looking forward to Thursday and weighing in again and seeing how this week turns out!

I'm so thankful for the support others have shown, its comforting to know that people support us and that we aren't alone. This is important to us. Its important to me. I love health, I love being healthy, I love running and haven't been able to in years now. I was a public health major of all things :)

Day 1 down... a million to go

It is absolutely no secret that I have struggled with my weight pretty much my entire life. I started getting pudgy around 8, so for the last 16 years I have had tons of issues surrounding my weight and my self esteem. It took me a long time to even like myself and I do like myself now. I love myself for who I am. I love that I am a mom, and I LOVE that I love being a mom. I love that I'm creative and crafty. I love having fun and being funny and being with friends and family. But I don't love how I look (or how I feel physically).

Yesterday was my first day officially back on Weight Watchers. I've done WW a million times before it seems. The first time I did it I lost over 100 pounds (but in all honesty, I wasn't doing it the right way). I was super obsessed back then about the whole thing and got really sick. After getting sick I gained about 60 pounds back, which was no fun.

I met Dan and maintained (meaning I kept gaining and losing the same 15 pounds for a year). After our wedding I gained a solid 15 pounds and thats when we started WW again. I wanted to get pregnant as soon as we got married (probably since I was 5 years old lol) and so I knew I needed to lose some weight so that I could get my PCOS back in control.

I lost 30 pounds and as soon as I hit that 30 pound mark I got pregnant with Ava. Fast forward nearly 2 years and here I am now. I gained just over 40 pounds during my pregnancy and I have lost 0... ZERO... of that weight. Which is REALLY depressing. I was hoping by the time Ava was 1 I would be well under my pre-pregnancy weight... but no. I'm not.

So now I have a ton of weight to lose. I want to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight plus lose an extra 35 pounds because being pregnant at the weight I was last time was really hard, so I don't think I could do it again having to take care of a toddler. So add that up... 75 pounds that I'd like to lose ASAP. I wish I had found the motivation before so that by Ava's birthday I could have been 75 pounds lighter and on my way to baby #2 but I'm glad I've found it now, and maybe there's a reason why I needed a larger age difference between my babies than I would have liked.

So anyway. I'm going to be blogging about this alot. I used to hate to talk about my weight. It was such a voodoo topic. But honesty, I'm fat, people who know me know I'm fat. Thats just the way it is and thats not how I want it to be. I have PCOS and Insulin Resistance which makes losing weight A TON of fun... not. But I can do it. I'm going to make an appointment with an OB this spring and see if I can start on metformin as well.

I'm doing this for myself, I'm doing this for Ava, I'm doing this so we can have more children. Its so hard but its so worth it.

PCOS

I don't think I've ever talked about this on my blog.... I know I think about it often but I don't know if I've been "that" honest to bring it up. Anyone had to deal with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome)?? I'm trying to get the courage up to go talk to a new doctor about it. Last time I talked to a doctor about it (December 2008) I got scolded and told not to think about it because I'd be "irresponsible" to get pregnant at the weight I was at and I was "too young" to be a mom anyway.

Well I did talk to my OB about it but after I got pregnant with Ava. He told me to come back and we'd check it after I had her... well dang it we moved. I loved Dr. Alperin. He never made me feel bad about getting pregnant at the weight I was at (or age for that matter).

I've struggled with PCOS since high school and its frustrating and discouraging. I know it goes hand in hand with my weight and its currently been more difficult than ever to get the weight I gained during my pregnancy off.

Anyway gotta come up with the courage just to call and make a doctors appointment. I HATE going to the doctor.

Dang Weight

So I have learned in the last 3 months that I cannot do things by myself like I like to. I need help and I HATE asking for help. I think I am getting better at letting Dan and others know what I need though. But I still hate doing it.

One thing I have realized after 3 months is that I cannot lose this weight on my own. I am determined to lose this weight before we even think about having a 2nd baby. I have 2 conditions that MUST be met before we even start trying for a 2nd and both of these things will probably take another 2-3 years so don't get any ideas that I am trying for a 2nd anytime soon.

Doing weight watchers "on my own" during the last 3 months is NOT working for me. When I do weight watchers, it totally works for me but I have to go to the meetings and be accountable to someone (who is not Dan). I really need to change the way I eat because working out right now is extremely painful. I feel like I have no stomach muscles anymore so all I can do is walk.

So anyway, here I go... I'm going on Monday morning (diets always start on Monday's right? haha). They have a meeting that you can bring kids to so I can't take Ava with me. Here's to some much needed change!!!

Losing the baby weight

and all that other weight I had before I had a baby haha

Isn't funny that the only time in my life that it was 'hard' to gain weight was when I was pregnant!? I guess throwing up for 9 months straight does that to a person. Now that I am not pregnant and have stopped pumping I am gaining weight like its no one's business! It's so irritating. I was 5 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight the day I stopped pumping, but its been all uphill from there. So now Ava is 9 1/2 weeks old (its been 9 1/2 weeks since I last threw up) and I stopped pumping 6 weeks ago. I have no more excuses, I am fully recovered from my c-section, Ava is sleeping better, we have a better routine down, I really can eat better and work out more.

I have 'started' weight watchers about 15 times in the last month haha I would start in the morning and by the evening I had sabotaged myself. I don't want to pay to go to meetings right now so I am going to try and give this a go on my own first. Today was my first successful day. I also have a horrible headache though and really want chocolate. Thankfully Chocolate Fiber One bars are taking the edge off along with Diet Cherry Pepsi.

Anyway, I want to get healthier for myself and for Ava. I want her to be a confident healthy young woman. One of my biggest fears when I found out I was having a girl was that she would have to go through some of the same battles I have. It was never easy being the chubby girl in school and particularly depressing while in college. Losing a lot of weight in college set me on a really crummy path that was pretty self destructive.

I was doing really well at losing weight the right way before I got pregnant with Ava so I guess I need to pick up where I left off :) Anyway I may rant on here more often about trying to lose weight :) hope no one minds too much

Good Day Saturday

We love Hungry from the Weight Watchers commercial, so we bought a little magnet one to put on our fridge! Dan loves him!
We went up to Timp to do a session, there were a ton of weddings today which made the grounds super crowded. Dan and I made a home made "light" pizza... haha light and pizza don't often go together. But it was so good. We used vegan pepperoni and they were delicious!It was a wonderful Saturday!

We Heart Weight Watchers

I usually don't talk to people about losing weight or doing Weight Watchers, but what the heck... its not going to hurt anything!

Dan and I have both done weight watchers before, but I can honestly say its a lot easier when both of us are doing it together! I am so proud of Dan for committing to eat healthier! We have been doing WW together for 7 full weeks now and I have lost 10.2 pounds and Dan has lost 18.6!

Yay for being healthier! I got my blood drawn yesterday for the 1st time in 3 months to test my insulin level! I am really hoping that my insulin resistance has gone down a little bit. I still need to do better about not eating carbs but I am doing a whole lot better than I was 3 months ago!