9 Months

We have been married 9 months today. I joked with Dan that we could have had our first baby by now! Strange thought. Anyway yesterday we were talking about something and I said something like, well you figured that out months ago... then I counted... 21 months ago. Holy moly. Both of us agree, it feels like yesterday that we met and it doesn't feel like its been almost 2 years. 3 more months and we will be graduated and hopefully know a little bit more about where we are moving! We will also be celebrating out sealing, our anniversary and my 23rd birthday. To say the least I cannot WAIT until June!!!My cousin Chainey's birthday party today... here are some fun pictures from our day:

Daily Universe Article: I Thee Wed

I enjoyed this article from the Daily Universe today about Marriage Age and Divorce. Being a child of parents who are divorced I know how horrible divorce can be on a family and that you can find healing after a divorce.
I have plenty I could say about this topic, but I thought this article did a good job at being subjective and discussing both sides of the story!

Protecting Marriage?

Marriage in the United States has become so sad in and of itself. The statistics show that more and more people are getting divorced and of those who are still married, many are unhappy in their marriages. I have seen people here at BYU marry people they don't love, knowingly marry untrustworthy and dishonest partners, as well as marry simply because they want to fulfill their animalistic need for sexual intimacy. I won't even go into how I feel about the youth of the church haphazardly entering into sacred temple marriages, because honestly thats a whole nother volume in my encyclopedia of thoughts.

At church on Sunday the Neiswenders in our ward (who are also our neighbors) gave very good talks about friendship and fellowshipping. I really enjoyed hearing Haley reiterating what Bruce C. Hafen of the seventy said in 2002 in his talk entitled The Gospel and Romantic Love when he said that we should "be friends first and sweethearts second. University professor Lowell Bennion once said that relationships between young men and young women should be built like a pyramid. The base of the pyramid is friendship. And the ascending layers are built of things like time, understanding, respect, and restraint. Right at the top of the pyramid is a glittering little mystery called romance. Now, you don’t have to be very smart to know that a pyramid won’t stand up very long if you stand it on its point instead of its base. In other words, be friends first and sweethearts later, not the other way around. Otherwise, people who think they are sweethearts may discover they can’t be very good friends, and by then it may be too late."

If we want to protect marriage we need to start in our own homes looking inwardly rather than outwardly. I feel that more people would live more fulfilling and happy lives if we spent more time evaluating how we are doing in our lives, how we are treating our partner and how our marriages are doing as a whole. Thats how I want to protect my marriage, by staying best friends with my husband and not letting the world defile our love and devotion to each other. Does anyone need to vote on that? No.

Right now a hot topic in regards to marriage is California's Proposition 8. I am not one to get into great debates with people. I don't voice my political opinions much. This being said I have been very saddened by the recent publicity amongst the youth at BYU and in the church over Proposition 8. It saddens me to see families put at arms because certain members support Proposition 8 and others do not. I believe we all have a choice in this battle. I feel that those of us who do not live or vote in California have even less of a say on what is happening with Proposition 8.

I have felt somewhat awkward since hearing the churches stance on Proposition 8, I simply believed that they would not make a political stance on this issue. I understand the churches stance and I feel for the issue both ways, although I feel that we should not sit on the fence because its easy. I have heard a lot of things that seem less than true about why the church supports Proposition 8 so I did some research and now feel more confident in understanding why the Church supports it and knowing that some of the rumors I had heard were wrong. As citizens we have every right to make ourselves as knowledgeable about the issues as possible.

The church made its stance at the end of June. "The Church’s teachings and position on this moral issue are unequivocal. Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God, and the formation of families is central to the Creator’s plan for His children. Children are entitled to be born within this bond of marriage."

However it was nice to read that "Latter-day Saints are free to disagree with their church on the issue (Prop 8) without facing any sanction", said L. Whitney Clayton of the LDS Quorum of the Seventy. "We love them and bear them no ill will."

Literature written by Proposition 8 proponents are freely distributed in Mormon wards, giving the impression the church approves of these pamplets, but much of it is "misinformation," said Morris Thurston, an LDS attorney in Orange County. Thurston has circulated a point-by-point response to an anonymously authored document that has been widely disseminated by Mormons, "Six Consequences . . . If Proposition 8 Fails." Thurston argues that most of its arguments are either untrue or misleading. "The general church authorities I have spoken to have been understanding and compassionate," he said. "They counsel respect, civility and open mindedness toward those who disagree with the church's position."

Mormons for Marriage

Stuart Matis

Stuart Matis 2

1 year in the Making

So its almost been 1 year since I met Dan. Last summer was one of the lowest points of my life. Dan met me at the same time I was at the downward motion of hitting rock bottom.

I met Daniel on the fourth of July. I could have been many places that night. That day alone I had wandered from friend to friend and group to group never finding much solace other than in the presence of my dear friend Allyson. Meeting Dan when I did was not planned and had it not been for other events prior that had occurred that week and even that day I don't think it would have ever happened!

Anyway to say the least I met this wonderful, young, handsome, tall guy that I found to be cute and charming yet due to the unforeseen depressive attitudes of the summer of 2007 I didn't pick up on his intentions and when he finally told me flat out what he wanted I still kinda kept him at an arms length and kept playing the woe is me song in my head.

Thanks to a sane and surprisingly logical friend, Brent Jr., I took the chance on contacting Dan after a small hiatus in communication due to a broken phone and fear. I cowardly text messaged Dan late mid august. Not expecting much in return I just texted him something random that I hoped maybe he would remember me. In response, he had deleted my phone number (because I stopped talking to him) and didn't know who exactly I was. I simply wrote back the word "nevermind" and decided that was it I tried and failed. I was not upset or mad at him for not remembering or for having deleted me... I just figured it was not meant to be.

Due to Daniel's personality he put the pieces together quickly and figured out who I was without any help from me. Finally I responded and it is all history now... We spent the next 3 weeks talking all the time but it was not till September 25th that I finally agreed to go out with him. He had been asking me out for the entire month. Never in my life had I had someone who truly wanted to be around me like that. Even past boyfriends were not like that.

Our first date was "not a date" at least thats what I kept telling myself. I went over to his home in Orem and later we went to Los Hermanos and then came back to his house to watch some Arrested Development that I had brought with me. Our date ended abruptly when my ex-whatever he was called to tell me about my other ex-whatever he was. I got flustered and left. I really wish I had not left that night. But I guess the ending of this story is not a tragic one...

On our second date I told him every tragic thing that I could think of and about all the horrid guys I had dated. Keep in mind the depressive attitude I was trying to get out of at the time but was still in... I sound like a psycho. In my head however I figured, I better run him off now because he will be like everyone else and let me down and it will end.

All he said when I was done talking for what seemed like 3 hours straight was "I am glad you told me because it helps me know that I need to earn your trust and go slow." It was so sweet and I couldn't stand it.

On our third date I met his parents. I remember thinking... "this is taking it slow?"

I kissed him within the first week of our first date. I took charge on that one and drove up to a park called Big Springs. Its one of my favorite hiking spots in Provo. We were listening to Elliott Smith and I told him I was "going to be brave." The thought going through my head was, I am not kissing another jerk... He has to be the last person I kiss. Must have been a charm or something.

He told me he loved me first. I remember the moment, not the day. I can't remember if I said it back even. I just know when he said it, he actually meant it.

How we got engaged a little more than a month later, I have no idea, I guess due to all the previous events! We started talking about marriage in October and I was like holy moly ok but we must be crazy! We said that we would get engaged in December and married in May. Well we got engaged on Halloween and are getting married June 28th.

I am so thankful for the way things have turned out for us. I am thankful that we don't have pushy parents that try and force us to do things their way. I knew getting married in December was way too soon for us and I am glad I listened to that prompting. I don't know how I would have managed the first month of marriage with my pseudotumor and health problems like they were.

So now on our honeymoon we will be celebrating lots of things:
1) Our Marriage
2) The end of our 8 month engagement!
3) My birthday
4) Our 1 year anniversary of knowing each other (and Independence Day)

It will be a great week and I can't wait till we are on our honeymoon and away from my general daily worries! I have realized with my wedding that it doesn't matter if I lose weight or not (because every bride wants to), it doesn't matter if everything appears to be perfect... All that matters is that I am committing my life and love to Daniel and he is committing his life and love to me!