Love One Another

I was really touched by a talk I heard back in September but now I can't find it anywhere online, so I am recounting my notes and thoughts. I just wish I could read it again. However in googling it I found a women who blogged about it so well and described some of the same emotions that I felt that it was the best I could come to actually finding the publication of the talk.

Courtney wrote what follows:

Elder Jensen spoke of the many "different" people in the church. He explained how there is a certain culture surrounding the gospel (naturally), and how many people do not fit in to this particular mold. The classic (but true, all the same) examples of being divorced, single, widowed make people feel as though they don't belong, but also those who struggle with depression or eating disorders or those who have loved ones who are going through difficult times. Those who are minorities or those who have physical disabilities. As he listed all these people, I started to wonder how anyone feels like they belong in this culture. And that was one of his biggest points. He said, "everyone is a lost sheep. everyone has their failings, and everyone has their differences."

More often than not, I do not feel like I belong at church. I am not naturally out-going, and I rarely feel like I have people to talk to at church. Particularly now that we are in a new ward, I wonder if we will ever find our place. But I loved how Elder Jensen spoke about how it was our duty to include everyone. I've come to realize over the past couple years that there are very few people who don't need new friends. It's still hard for me to reach out to anyone, but realizing that has helped me a little bit.

Elder Jensen opened his talk by speaking about his younger brother, who had brain damage due to birth complications. The brother was often the brunt of much ridicule as a boy, and I felt so much shock at how people feel free to mock those with obvious disabilities. Then I read this post at By Common Consent today and thought the same thing. It scares me to have kids. I don't want them to be made fun of, but I'm also terrified that they will make fun of other kids.

One of the most important things I want-- need-- to teach my children is true compassion and understanding of others' feelings. Hopefully by making this a priority they won't make fun of other kids and when they are adults, they will reach out to those in need (well, I hope they do both things regardless of being a child or an adult).

I'm not sure where the church culture comes from that makes others feel alienated. I feel like I know more people who don't fit the perfect mold than those who do, but perhaps that's because I gravitate towards normal, real people. :)

I was very happy to find this blog post because it very much reflected how I feel. I work closely with people with disabilities as well have close family members who are disabled. I think of my cousin Chainey, who had Spina Bifida, when he was born. To think that anyone could ever tease him because he walks with a walker or sometimes uses a wheel chair kills me. I want to protect him but I know he is a strong boy. I also, like Courtney, want to teach my children (when I have children) to be accepting and love others.

I have felt very awkward before in wards and currently do. Its getting a little better but I still feel like the "special guest" that sticks out in the group like a sore thumb. For the first 3 months of being in our ward, we would only attend sacrament meeting. 3 weeks ago we started to attend all of our meetings and my first Sunday in Relief Society they introduced me as the "special guest" even though I had been in the ward for 3 months and they had already introduced all the new people and did the announcements and sang the opening song. I am sure they meant well but I just felt out of place.

I know most of them know that my husband and I were not married in the temple and most probably (more than I would like) know about our previous activity in the church, to me I feel out of place and awkward somewhat because of this. I am trying to be more outgoing in our ward, I even agreed to meet at 8:20 tonight to do my visiting teaching (my partner is the relief society president) and I signed up to do the October Craft on the 29th.

I know the church is true... the people don't always have me in fits of joy to go to activities but I know the simple fact that since Dan and I have centered our life on a common goal of working towards being better people we have been blessed in all aspects of our lifes. Heavenly Father blesses us and I can feel his love. I have always been very hard on myself and find that I feel guilty about most things I do and feel like their is no way Heavenly Father could love me.

This is the first time in my life that I feel like I have made the right decisions in working with our bishop and working towards our goal to be sealed together forever and that what we chose to do was right for us and we will be blessed. As often as I have seen people rush into marriage or dishonestly go through the temple I am glad we have waited and the joy of our sealing and our marriage has been so better because of this.