This is the handsome man I married 3 months ago!
One year ago today I spent my entire day in bed. I slept all night and all day! I woke up around 5 pm and hit myself in the face because I couldn't believe how my life had turned out.
The night before one of the guys I had been seeing was questioning me about my relationship with his roommate. I asked him "WHAT RELATIONSHIP!?" He asked me about his roommate and I's break up the week earlier and I told him it was news to me because "How could we break up if we weren't even together!?" In my mind by the point I hadn't been with with his roommate. We were not dating. I spent a lot of time with him and yes at some points I liked him and others I thought he was a complete jerk and for the most part I was just "seeing" him in the sense that I saw him, we would hang out, and that was it.
The two of them had just became roommates and I was constantly sick about the fact that the guy I had been hanging out with, would find out about his roommate and I. It made me sick to my stomach and more depressed than I had ever been in my life. I felt like a fraud and wanted out of the situation. I had felt stuck for so long. That entire summer I had felt like there was no way out, that I was destined to lose.
I had met Daniel on July 4th, in the middle of that summer. Dan liked me but I was convinced that he would just treat me like every other guy had treated me. He seemed so nice but I assumed it was just an act. How completely wrong I was. My phone broke in July and I let that be my excuse for not continuing talking to Dan. Although I thought about him and thought well maybe I should give him a chance or maybe I should email him, but instead of following through on my thoughts I spent most of my days upset, crying and in bed.
I had finally realized how much torture I had been putting myself through. I would never end up with either of these guys, thankfully, and as long as I continued hanging out with them I would continue to go no where in my life because I would never take risks or try. And I would continually feel like a piece of garbage that could be used and thrown out at their desire. I had to leave so I did just that and never went back!
That is when I went into my 18 hour slumber. I woke up at 5pm on the 25th of September to a text message from Dan. We had been talking again for well over a month. I would tell him all about what was going on with my crazy life and he would continually ask why I put myself through such torture. He was such a good listening ear and I was so thankful to have someone who didn't judge me and just wanted me to be happy. Dan had been asking me out on a date for awhile and I could never fully agree sometimes I thought he was tricking me into it. He asked me again on the 25th but this time he just asked if I wanted to come over. He had just bought a cool new video game and was on his school break so he thought it would be fun if we hung out or did something. I finally agreed. I pulled myself together and spent the next hour getting ready.
I showed up at Dan's house and thankfully I called him before I went to the door because he told me his house was the third on the left when it was actually the forth. I met his sister Lisa briefly that night and hung out with Dan as he showed me his new game Halo 3. He was such a sweet heart and I kept telling him it was not a date we were just going to be friends! He took me to Los Hermanos that night and it was one of the best nights and meals I have had! We went back to his house and started to watch a movie, however I could not understand the accents of the people in the movie I asked Dan to change it. I had brought over Arrested Development and we started to watch an episode or two. I don't think Dan thought they were that funny but it was just nice to sit there with him. I remember he held my hand and I got a little freaked out. I was thinking, "hey this isn't a date!"
Anyway I called it a night really early and drove myself home. Dan was leaving for California the next day and was dying to see me before he left. I remember walking across campus thinking I was crazy and told him that we had to wait until he came back from California. We talked the whole trip (his mom told me just a few weeks ago that they remember it was like Dan wasn't even there because he was constantly text messaging!)
To say the absolute least, Dan is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He makes me try harder and he causes me to look at things in a different light. He is outgoing and positive and he loves me for who I am. I don't know how all this could happen in one years time but its been the best year of my life. I have learned so much more about myself and have started to act responsibly to work towards my future.
Anyway this is a super long post but I love my Daniel... he is my night and shining armor!
1 comment:
You and Dan have such a great story - it's amazing, just like you two!! ♥
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