It is absolutely no secret that I have struggled with my weight pretty much my entire life. I started getting pudgy around 8, so for the last 16 years I have had tons of issues surrounding my weight and my self esteem. It took me a long time to even like myself and I do like myself now. I love myself for who I am. I love that I am a mom, and I LOVE that I love being a mom. I love that I'm creative and crafty. I love having fun and being funny and being with friends and family. But I don't love how I look (or how I feel physically).
Yesterday was my first day officially back on Weight Watchers. I've done WW a million times before it seems. The first time I did it I lost over 100 pounds (but in all honesty, I wasn't doing it the right way). I was super obsessed back then about the whole thing and got really sick. After getting sick I gained about 60 pounds back, which was no fun.
I met Dan and maintained (meaning I kept gaining and losing the same 15 pounds for a year). After our wedding I gained a solid 15 pounds and thats when we started WW again. I wanted to get pregnant as soon as we got married (probably since I was 5 years old lol) and so I knew I needed to lose some weight so that I could get my PCOS back in control.
I lost 30 pounds and as soon as I hit that 30 pound mark I got pregnant with Ava. Fast forward nearly 2 years and here I am now. I gained just over 40 pounds during my pregnancy and I have lost 0... ZERO... of that weight. Which is REALLY depressing. I was hoping by the time Ava was 1 I would be well under my pre-pregnancy weight... but no. I'm not.
So now I have a ton of weight to lose. I want to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight plus lose an extra 35 pounds because being pregnant at the weight I was last time was really hard, so I don't think I could do it again having to take care of a toddler. So add that up... 75 pounds that I'd like to lose ASAP. I wish I had found the motivation before so that by Ava's birthday I could have been 75 pounds lighter and on my way to baby #2 but I'm glad I've found it now, and maybe there's a reason why I needed a larger age difference between my babies than I would have liked.
So anyway. I'm going to be blogging about this alot. I used to hate to talk about my weight. It was such a voodoo topic. But honesty, I'm fat, people who know me know I'm fat. Thats just the way it is and thats not how I want it to be. I have PCOS and Insulin Resistance which makes losing weight A TON of fun... not. But I can do it. I'm going to make an appointment with an OB this spring and see if I can start on metformin as well.
I'm doing this for myself, I'm doing this for Ava, I'm doing this so we can have more children. Its so hard but its so worth it.
5 comments:
Brittany thank you for sharing, you inspire me. I am going to make new goals today too:)
good for you, and we all know that it takes a few draw backs sometimes before we can accomplish our goals. You sounds determined and I know you can do this!! I'll be a blogger supporter!!
You can do it! :)
You're very good at inspiring people. You probably didn't mean to do that but after hearing you talk about how you want to do it for yourself and for Ava and how much you want it, it makes me want to try harder. I'm proud of you!!
Hooray! This is so awesome! Good Luck! I am so happy for you! Its super hard for me to find motivation to lose weight also so its always exciting when you find it! I know you can do this because I have seen you do this!
I'll be a blogger supporter also!
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